Saturday, January 24, 2015

Gambling on Taobao 1: Disaster Strikes

As some of you may know, I recently placed an order to Taobao - uncharted land. Anything goes on Taobao - from great bargains to great disaster. My first Taobao adventure led to both ends of the spectrum. Today I'll be writing about the disaster end of the spectrum.

Have you ever thrown a tea out after the first cup? I didn't even get to that point with these teas. I'm not even living up to the name of this blog.

"Jake, which teas could be this awful?" you may ask. Well, I can name two. 2001 Bug Shit (worm) tea is the first. Who would have thought that actual shit would be so shitty? This is a tea that has been processed by a worm's digestive system, known for being smooth and sweet when brewed. The dry leaf smelled quite moldy and somewhat plastic like. I decided to air this out by emptying the container into a Ziploc bag - an effective method of airing a tea out. The nasty aroma was only beginning to fade after a few days, so this tea went straight to the trash.

Even worse was the 1980s Tibetan Kang brick tea I bought samples of. As for the positives, the vendor sent me 25g samples instead of 10g samples. On the downside, the 25g samples were 25 grams of pure evil. This had the same plastic-y aroma as the Bug Shit, except with a strange chemical cleaner aroma and 10x more intense. I decided to air this out in a mason jar, after a few days the toxicity of this tea seemed to have increased exponentially. A whiff of this tea left me sick to my stomach with an intense headache for the rest of the day. Needless to say, this also went straight into the trashcan. That's not the last I heard from this tea though. This tea haunted me beyond its grave. For the next few days, I was able to smell the same nasty odor that this tea gave off for brief periods of time. Goes to show you, just because it's aged doesn't mean it's good.

Thankfully, the total value of the tea discarded was ~$20USD. Needless to say, avoid seller "lawyer_hangdb" on Taobao.
Left - Bug Shit | Right - Kang Brick

Music Selection: tropes  - air-em-out

Air em' out - that what I tried to do and failed.

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