Friday, October 17, 2014

Taiwan - the home of the best and worst aged oolongs

 Sorry for the delay - have been a combination of busy, sick, and unmotivated for the past few weeks. Will be returning to normal schedule now.

First off - a couple of announcements regarding this blog.

1. I'm going to be starting to review pu'erh (ugh...another pu'erh blog) soon, as I've essentially exhausted the western market for aged oolongs.
2. I might start doing concise reviews, and reviewing more teas
3. Upcoming reviews - Teamasters oolongs, Aged Shui Xian, Aged Oriental Beauty, Wistaria Tea House 2005 Pu'erh and a Ruby Red

It's finally here...the Gukeng Township 1983 oolong is getting reviewed.

Dry leaf is curly and dark, maybe shaped like a Biluochun. Has a distinct dry-leaf smell of raisins, as does the wet leaf, which is like a wet version of the dry leaf. This tea steeps out to a golden yellow/brown color, which is very light for the age. Oolongs this old usually steep to a dark brown color. I noticed this when trying this the first time as well.

The first time I tried this one it was in my friend's Yixing pot that he uses for all oolongs (90's Zhuni Shuiping, 95ml, standard stuff, nice clay) and it was smooth and buttery. Not sure why, but it's pretty bitter and mild now. Still quite buttery, but definitely not as good. Slight notes of golden raisin? Possibly due to storage in an off-brand ziploc for 3 months.

Overall, this tea is not very good, bland and boring. Definitely not 1983, probably around 10 years old max.

Next one is a mystery, from the same shop, same price. Label says something about 1954, and I immediately call bullshit, as it's $4/oz. The dry leaves smell fine, the plummy smell with quite a bit of mineral aroma. They're small and curly, like the last one. Steeps out to a clear medium brown (think milk chocolate) color.

Mmm...tastes sublime.....................SIKE!!!!!!!! Easily one of the worst teas I've ever had, think liquid earwax. It's incredibly bitter, which is something that shouldn't happen in an aged oolong. Even with flash brews, it was unbearably bad. I can imagine the thought process behind this tea. Imagine 10 tea industry folks sitting at a conference table, talking about how they're going to play a prank on Jake by making a horrible tea. It's that bad. Guess what, you guys won. This is the worst tea ever made. I would rather drink Lipton, or maybe an herbal or flavored tea. Shit, I'd rather drink flavored coffee than this. Yeah, flavored coffee. The worst stuff known to man. Rather drink that and lose all of my coffee cred than have this tea pass through my lips again. It's that bad. I might break my jaw on purpose, getting it wired shut will make sure that I can't drink this tea again. It's that bad. I would recommend burning this tea, but the fumes aren't worthy of entering the atmosphere. I wouldn't soil the trashcan by putting this tea anywhere near it. It's that bad. If I feed the leaves to my dog he'll run away. If I feed the leaves to my cat she would scratch my eyes out (if only she would scratch my tongue out instead, I would never have to taste this tea again). It's that bad. It's THAT BAD.

If the poison doesn't kill me, I'll post again next week. If not, thanks for reading the blog.


P.S. Happy October 17th! Yep, it's 10/17. 1017 Brick Squad day. For the uninformed, 1017 Brick Squad is one of the most important collectives in Trap Music (not the EDM type, but the rap kind). Comprised of veterans and pioneers such as Gucci Mane and Waka Flocka Flame, along with modern innovators such as Young Thug and Chief Keef, 1017 Brick Squad is one of the most well-known names in rap music. Any rap fan should know at least 5 of Flocka or Keef's ad-libs or at least 10 of Gucci Mane's unusual pronunciations of common words. Any modern rap fan should know the producers' signature taglines (Young Chop on the beat, etc.)  Check these out:


~~~and every chief keef song~~~


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